Together Twenty-Four Seven

I, for one, think the media has done a number on us with Valentine's Day.  The elusive "they"  will make you feel like a failure at love if you haven't spent thousand's of dollars or oodles of time on the most fabulous gift ever dreamed of for the one you love.  Well, being on a mission with the "one  you love" is the perfect way to give the most fabulous gift ever.  I believe this because it requires such virtues as patience, understanding, and charity, and it requires this every day, every hour for the entire length of your mission.  You are never alone.  Missionary apartments, while generally nicer than those lived in by the young missionaries., are far from spacious.  This means you  probably have to be really creative to find some solitude.  When out of the apartment you are still together: at the grocery store, at appointments, getting a hair cut, etc. etc. You visit people "ensemble".
   In contemplating this togetherness we have had for the last six months, I realized I have developed a significant increase in patience, and understanding.  It is the little things that can get to you.  Here is an example:  every time we go somewhere Paul dutifully locks the car;  this is good, and responsible. He does this every single time, so why, oh why, does he always try to door handle when we return to our vehicle?   I have learned not to mention it, but I admit it has required much patience.  Another example:  Paul needs to take a pill every day about 3 p.m.  For 5 months he forgot about fifty percent of the time.  He asked me to remind him, so I set a daily reminder on my phone.  I now ask him daily, and he still forgets.  I am trying to be understanding. One more:  we always leave early enough to get to an appointment on time.  And at least half the time we have no set time of arrival.  Why must he drive as fast as he can on icy and snowy roads, making my heart race? And lastly:  because I don't speak French well enough to converse on the phone he has to do the calling.  I will remind him of a call (or sometimes an email) that needs to be made/written.  He quickly agrees.  Hours later I will ask if it has been done.  He often says "No".  He rarely offers an excuse. Irritating.  I know he has his own list of small irritations, for example,  he thinks I take an inordinate amount of time to get out of the car. (He doesn't have get his purse or other items; and that house key is in there somewhere. He just jumps out. )
   As one can see, I am still working on the virtue of charity…
   For the most part, I can honesty say that we never argue ( a few minor disagreements is all) and we genuinely like being with each other.  We have our own little routines and when involved with these we have learned to stay out of each other's way-at least as much as one can stay out of another's way in a small apartment.  It is great to set and accomplish goals together.  It is indescribable when we teach someone and feel the Sprit there.  It is fulfilling to know we are serving and working on something that is not only worthwhile but really important and we are doing it together all day, every day, for 18 months.            

The elevator effect

When we were on our mission in Switzerland and training missionaries, we would often warn them to avoid the "elevator effect." It is a real problem in missionary work, and we have fallen victim to it.  What happens is this:  missionaries find and begin teaching investigators.  They fill up their calendars with lessons with a few, very receptive individuals.  These people progress each week, and the missionaries are happy to be teaching them regularly and seeing their progress.  Unfortunately, eventually these select people either get baptized or decide it isn't for them. Either way, the lessons come to an end. Unless the missionaries have been carefully planning for the future by continuing to find new investigators, they can be left empty-handed so-to-speak, with nothing to do.  This was what happened to us.  We had been busily teaching several individuals the temple preparations classes, as well as some other lessons, and had them set goals to attend the temple, as well as some other things.  We finished these classes and the members have completed the goals they set with us, and have gone on to set other, personal goals which do not include our help.  We "rode the elevator" to the top floor and got off. All of a sudden we faced two weeks with relatively nothing to do--not a pleasant situation for young or old missionaries.  We are now back at the bottom and are having to start over. It was a lesson learned with difficulty, and one that could be applied to all of our goals in life.  Because we should set goals with the confidence that we will accomplish them, we should also prepare well in advance for what we want to work on next. We are hopeful that this coming week will be better!

This is what its all about! (Thought this was already published)

    Friday night we drove to the Montreal Temple with Gisele.  She has been working diligently to prepare herself to go inside to receive the special blessings which come to those who are worthy.  The day was not without its opposition.  Gisele suffers from severe headaches among other health ailments, and she takes 24 pills a day (or perhaps a few more). This number has actually decreased in the past year from her record of 60 something.  From time to time, she has paralysis on one side of her face and of course, Friday was one of those days. and of course, there was a "tempete" which means storm.  There was snow and blowing snow.  All in all, it was an awful weather day.   However, she has great faith and knew nothing was going to keep her from going to the temple on December 20, 2013.  She asked for a blessing before we began our two hour drive, and within an hour or so she was beginning to feel some improvement.  Due to some unforeseen circumstances, mostly due o the weather, everything went slowly and we didn't leave to drive home until close to 11 p.m.  And it was still snowing.  By the time we dropped her at her apartment, the paralysis was nearly gone and she felt much better.
   On the way home, we noticed a young woman, perhaps 20 years old, standing on the side of the road.  It was 1:15 a.m., and a mere 14 degrees, and yes, it was snowing.  She was hitch-hiking! While we normally don't pick up hitch-hikers, we did this time.  She wanted to go to Victoriaville, which of course, right where we were headed.  We dropped her off at an apartment building and she said possibly the only two English words she knew:  "thank you."  The way I saw it, we had just come from the temple, we are on a mission, and if we got shot, at least we were in best spot ever for ending up where we all eventually want to end up….
   The weather continues to be an amazement to me.  Today as soon as it got light enough to see (after 7:30 a.m.)  I saw blowing snow and more coming down.  There was about 8 inches, plus that which had drifted.  I have abandoned any notion I once had of wearing fashionable clothing to church. I brought a clunky pair of rubberized boots with me from home--boy do they look nice with a skirt.  Church was postponed for an hour, but no one seemed concerned that the snow had turned to ice pellets, covering all the vehicles with a slick film.  I am so happy that yesterday was the shortest day of the year.  Here in the northland, the sun currently sets at 3:35 and when it is cold and dark, all I want is some hot chocolate and my pajamas. While senior couples have leeway when it comes to the schedule I don't think they had in mind a day that ends at 3:30 :)
    This was this morning just outside our apartment's from door.

   And this was in the parking lot of a member's apartment when we went this afternoon to deliver a Christmas box of food from the branch:

Life is cold, but good!

It isn't all sunshine and roses

This past Thursday we had one of those really "down" days.  We had taken a sister to another city to get her new dentures. This whole process has taken several trips at about an hours' drive each way. We have taught her countless lessons, taken her to doctor's appointments, and to and from the church ( a 20 minute drive each way) many times since August. We have grown very attached to her, and she is a very spiritual person.  She went to the temple for the first time on December 15th.  We drove her in a snowstorm and didn't get home until after 1 in the morning.  We haven't minded doing all this because that is what missionaries do. However, on Thursday as we were returning to her home, she told us that she has decided to quit coming to the church.  She said she had changed she email address; cancelled her cell phone, and she won't answer a knock on her door.  Writing a letter is our only means of communicating.  For the rest of the evening and the next day I felt absolutely disheartened.  I know she is now vulnerable to temptations, loneliness, and negativity because she has cut herself off from all who care about her, and I am truly sad about that.  I also worry about her salvation because she has made sacred covenants, not to be trifled with.  My returned-missionary children assure me that these feelings are common in missionary life, but even so, I am devastated. I keep praying she will have the strength to come back.

Amazing Faith

      I may have written earlier about our friend, Diane.  She has been paralyzed for the past 16-plus years due to a doctor's incompetency.  Her attitude about this is that it was a blessing; if she had not been paralyzed she would have been too busy and maybe too proud to listen to the missionaries.  She grew up in a small village here in Quebec, had no schooling, and began cleaning other people's homes when she was about twelve.  At some point she moved to Toronto to work in a bank.  While there she learned English, which she speaks fluently. (Yea, I can communicate with her!!)  She has a grown son.  Rarely, in our visits to her small apartment, has she been anything but positive and happy.
    Recently she struggled with a cough, which then developed into bronchitis. Being rather immobile except for her electric chair, she didn't improve.  Finally late one night she realized that the hospital was the only option.  I don't want to expound on my political views of socialized medicine, but suffice it to say that here, for the poor anyway, it stinks. One day she asked if I could wash her hair, because to have such a luxury costs extra money.  We have visited her nearly every day for the past 10 days. She seemed to improve a little but on Sunday she was been moved to intensive care and put on a respirator which we would deem not good news.  Before she got worse she told us that she had prayed and "told Heavenly Father that if He could take me, that would be nice.  However, if He wanted me to stay and try to help my son accept the gospel, I will stay."  What faith! Knowing Diane, and having her share her positive attitude about her life despite her difficulties has inspired me to be more appreciative and more anxious to share that gratitude with others.  We pray that she will improve but if she doesn't, I have no doubt that Heavenly Father heard her prayer and took her to Him.